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Covid-19 - Due to the current NYS Government regulations, as well as precautions needed to keep our staff safe, we are operating with very limited staff. This has caused longer processing times, orders may take 2-3 weeks to process regardless of the shipping method chosen. While you may be waiting a bit longer than usual, remember you're still directly supporting your favorite artists in a time they need it most. We appreciate your patience & understanding. Be Safe - MerchNow Team

Powerful Clothes

What makes Cum Town clothes so powerful? What makes you feel like you could kill God himself while wearing them? Just what exactly is it about them that suggests you could right now, walk into a police station with a gun, and set the world right? 

Comfort

Feeling good isn't just about the way clothes fit your body. It's also about the way your body fits the world. Just like you can't choose the gender you're assigned at birth, you cant choose to live in symbiosis with a bionic Gundam Suit, capable of destroying cities on a whim. A shirt is as close as it gets. 

Function

How many times have you found a shirt that looks good, but the second you put it on it gets sucked into your ass? It pulls your pants in there with it and suddenly you’re completely nude with all of your clothes sucked into your ass hole? We can 100% guarantee that will not happen in a Cum Town shirt. 

Ideology

Tee shirts are supposed to make a statement. When you see someone without a funny picture or words on their shirt, you know that person is a dumbass. Not only do the shirts make you cool, they make you a public intellectual for having the audacity to speak your mind about Italians. 

Latest Releases
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Benoit Rides

from $25.00

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Dudes Rock The Boardwalk

from $25.00

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Solidarity Tee

from $23.00

Solidarity Tee

Solidarity Tee

The perfect gift to solve racism once and forever. Show everyone how much you've grown since May with this incredibly... Learn more

Regular price $23.00

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Podcast Shirts

Let everyone know you got the joke with these podcast inspired designs.

Weed Shirts

It's not enough to smoke the weed. You have to let everyone know you do all the time.

We Thank The Essential Workers

From the guys that drive the trucks to GameStop, to the executives at GameStop that refused to close the stores, we thank you. By selling a shirt. 

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And Genuflect Toward Nurses

God I would love to kill myself for a nurse. A hot, tired nurse. Like Flo from the Progressive commercials. If I could just rub her swollen ankles and then hang myself in her living room. In this shirt. 

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