What makes Cum Town clothes so powerful? What makes you feel like you could kill God himself while wearing them? Just what exactly is it about them that suggests you could right now, walk into a police station with a gun, and set the world right?
Feeling good isn't just about the way clothes fit your body. It's also about the way your body fits the world. Just like you can't choose the gender you're assigned at birth, you cant choose to live in symbiosis with a bionic Gundam Suit, capable of destroying cities on a whim. A shirt is as close as it gets.
How many times have you found a shirt that looks good, but the second you put it on it gets sucked into your ass? It pulls your pants in there with it and suddenly you’re completely nude with all of your clothes sucked into your ass hole? We can 100% guarantee that will not happen in a Cum Town shirt.
Tee shirts are supposed to make a statement. When you see someone without a funny picture or words on their shirt, you know that person is a dumbass. Not only do the shirts make you cool, they make you a public intellectual for having the audacity to speak your mind about Italians.
And Genuflect Toward Nurses
God I would love to kill myself for a nurse. A hot, tired nurse. Like Flo from the Progressive commercials. If I could just rub her swollen ankles and then hang myself in her living room. In this shirt.